Mumsnet campaign for better miscarriage care

I'm blogging about my miscarriages to support Mumsnet's campaign for better miscarriage care which has launched today.

My first miscarriage was eight years ago. I was nine weeks pregnant when I saw my GP after some slight bleeding. The first thing he did was tell me off for turning up on a Friday evening when scanning facilities were closed until Monday morning. I felt like apologising for not timing my miscarriage better.

The sonographer was perfunctory: "Unable to detect a heartbeat, looks like development stopped at seven weeks. A missed miscarriage." I then sat in a busy waiting room to wait to see a doctor. After a while, I began to cry. I don't normally cry in busy waiting rooms, I tried to be strong but the sadness overwhelmed me. We'd tried to get pregnant for a year and now our baby was lost.

Finally someone noticed I was upset and we were moved to a private room. After an hour's wait a doctor came and told me I'd need a surgical procedure. She handed me a leaflet called the Evacuation of Retained Products of Conception. Not a baby any more. Just Retained Products of Conception.

The procedure was day surgery in the maternity wing.Whoozy from the general anaesthetic I waited for my husband to pick me up while I watched new mothers leaving hospital with their babies.

My second miscarriage was sixteen months later. I had repeated scans due to bleeding. Finally at eight weeks I was told the heartbeat had stopped. This sonographer was much more sympathetic: she was apologetic (even though it was hardly her fault) and have me a hug.

Again I waited for a doctor for over an hour in a busy waiting room. I managed to stop myself crying this time. The doctor seemed to be a trainee, much younger than me (I was thirty at the time). She recited something she must have read in a textbook. Apparently the bleeding and pain would be like a heavy period. I felt like telling her she was talking rubbish at the time. For the next few days I lay in pain on the sofa at home.

Lots of women have miscarriages. My care was in a very busy hospital which deals with many women having miscarriages every day. There's little time for a sympathetic word. I still remember the sonographer's hug now. She stood out as someone who had showed me some care.

The rest of the time I was just a patient going through the system. Only one person found time to say a kind few words to me. The other medical staff didn't know what to say. Maybe they don't see it as their place to provide any emotional care.

For women going through pregnancy loss, emotional care is more important than their physical wellbeing. But few medical staff give this consideration. Your body usually recovers quickly from pregnancy loss, but the hurt lasts forever.

I hope the Mumsnet campaign for better miscarriage care can improve services for women going through pregnancy loss. The Mumsnet Miscarriage Code of Care lists five points to improve care of women going through miscarriage.

These are:
- Supportive staff
- Access to scanning
- Safe and appropriate places for treatment

- Good information and effective treatment

- Joined-up care


If you support this campaign, why not add your voice too?