Why reading with small children is painful

Are you allowed to admit to stuff like this? I know books are important for children and I can see how our hard work reading books with the children is paying off. They love books. But the whole thing is strenuous and painful isn't it?

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if my children were happy with my choice of book. But despite my best efforts in getting them interested in children's classics like Winnie the Pooh, the boys just want to read Star Wars. Have you ever had to read a sticker book as a bedtime story? We have the Star Wars Lego sticker book and the Star Wars Lego dictionary as regular bedtime reads. There is also a Star Wars book which actually has stories in it, they're about the six episodes. But quite a few people die in these stories and have their hands chopped off by light sabres, leading me to wail, "Kids, can't we just read The Gruffalo?"

Then there's reading with my two year old. She loves books. She pulls them out of the bookshelves and spreads them all over the floor so everyone trips over them. She posts them under our duvet and insists on sleeping with so many there's hardly any room for her in her cot. Reading with her goes something like this:

"Duck,"
"Nearly darling, it's a chicken,"
"Duck,"
"Chicken,"
"Duck,
"Chicken,"
"Chicken,"
"Well done darling it's a chicken." She turns the page,
"Duck,"
"Darling, it's a chicken remember?"
"Duck,"
"Chicken,"
"Red,"
"The chicken is brown darling,"
"Red,"
"Brown, can you say brown?"
"Red."

And then she loses interest, folds up the book (usually with my fingers still in it which hurts when it's one of those board books) then throws it as far as she can across the room, "Nother one." Why do two year olds have to throw everything? Then we have to read nother one then nother one then nother one.

Maybe I was just as bad as a child. For a long time my favourite book was the Ladybird book on Teeth. I was obsessed with it. I remember my parents' slumped shoulders and defeated expressions when being asked to read it night after night. I don't know what happened to that book, maybe it was accidentally 'lost' or fell apart from being over-read.

I was once principled about bedtime stories but saying no to reading a Spiderman comic one bedtime led to such screaming and kicking of legs, when I wanted the children be calm and go to sleep so I could pour myself a glass of wine and watch X Factor in peace, that I relented.

Reading with your children is a necessary evil I think. Maybe I'm being a bit negative. It can be enjoyable if it's a book I like and everyone's sitting quietly and listening and not talking over me or pulling each other's hair or climbing on top of each other. And let's not forget it's a nice time to bond with your child without distractions (although they distract each other).

And I think if I work hard at it now, the quicker they'll learn to read and be able to read books on their own. In the meantime I'm becoming on expert on Jedis, Sith Lords, bounty hunters, Wookies, starfighters, Geonosians and the rest. So maybe I'm learning something useful too. Star Wars could become my chosen Specialised Subject on Mastermind. Mastermind is one of those things on my list to do before I die. Along with running the London Marathon.